My heart has never been so opened and my eyes have never seen so clear. I feel blessed to walk this path with compassion, strength, clarity, and forgiveness.
By: Stacey M Constante RN BSN MSCN
In this blissful yet chaotic and timeless space, I encountered the most powerful and vulnerable parts of myself. Here, I understood gratitude, the many layers of love, and the meaning of forgiveness, standing as I watched my past, present, and future converge into one timeline. Here is where I peeled away embedded stories that kept me feeling small. In this same multidimensional space, I observed myself as a phoenix rising from the ashes, reclaiming my power, stripping away old narratives, and allowing my inner light to shine unapologetically.
It had been over seven years since I first experienced the sacred medicine known as Ayahuasca in Ecuador. I remember very clearly, how I held the cup of brew very nervously and whispered my intension, “show me everything I need to see”. About fifteen minutes later, my eyes grew heavy, and the space around me began to merge and morph slowly until I found myself in an unimaginable realm. I won’t lie; my first encounter with this medicine was intense, feeling like a nightmare and a blissful experience simultaneously. However, it was exactly as it was supposed to be. This is where I confronted my entire self—the shadows I couldn't face with my conscious mind and the embedded stories I had shoved deep into my subconscious. Each part of myself I was ashamed of would reveal itself asking to be embraced and loved.
While I could elaborate on the visions I received, these experiences are profoundly personal and can only be fully comprehended by my own psyche and spirit. Ayahuasca seems to tailor its revelations to the individual consuming the brew, making each experience unique and comprehensible only to that person.
I have sat with this medicine numerous times—so many that I’ve lost count. Each session taught me that whenever I resisted what Ayahuasca was drawing out of my subconscious, I would drop into a lower frequency and feel lost in chaos. On the other hand, when I surrendered and embraced those parts of myself, it became a celebration, filling me with immense gratitude. I observed the many tools this medicine revealed to me for use during times of chaos. These tools allowed me to return to my center when I felt pulled into turmoil and have since helped me tremendously in my everyday life.
Ayahuasca, along with other sacred plant medicines helped me shift my perspective of myself, this world, and all those I encountered. Understanding how pent-up emotions, conditioning, and intergenerational trauma played a huge role in my emotional ailments, substance abuse, and endometriosis was crucial. This medicine allowed me to shift consciousness and see myself differently, helping me break free from these internal struggles.
This medicine helped me understand life doesn’t have to be taken so seriously, it is to be enjoyed, and to simply feel honored to experience life in this human form. I learned to allow emotions flow through me without shame, to forgive those who have done me wrong, and forgive for all I have done to myself and others.
Above all, this medicine granted me the insight to recognize the interconnectedness among all living beings and the profound significance of cultivating compassion and empathy for each other as we journey through life together.
We possess a profound gift within us—the connection to the earth and the universe—a gift that we have overlooked and belittled for too long. This disconnection has played a significant role in our lack of connection with ourselves. Ayahuasca uncovered the most empowering lesson of all; we hold all the power to change and heal ourselves, how we live, how we think, and how we shape our lives. It's up to us; everyday, we have the choice to move in the direction of our dreams or continue take steps in the opposite direction. We are that powerful.
After many years, I no longer suffer from anxiety, depression, substance abuse or the other conditions I faced. Healing is a lifelong journey, and while humbling, it's beautiful. Challenges will continue to arise, but feeling deeply is a gift, and I've learned to let my emotions flow and express them in healthier ways.
My heart has never been so opened and my eyes have never seen so clear. I feel blessed to walk this path with compassion, strength, clarity, and forgiveness.
So, What is Ayahuasca?
Ayahuasca is a traditional entheogenic brew that has been employed by various Amazon rainforest cultures for centuries. Its aim is to facilitate healing of the body, mind, and spirit, serving as a profound instrument for self-exploration. According to the indigenous Amazonian leaders, Ayahuasca serves as the tether that enables the spirit to depart from the body without the body perishing, facilitating the release of everything we have outgrown. The brew is composed of two plants, Banisteriopsis caapi (the vine) and Psychotria viridis, also known as Chacruna (the leaf ). Chacruna contains Dimethyltryptamine (DMT), a natural compound found in plants, animals, and humans.
Ayahuasca is renowned for its potency, visionary qualities, and profound impact. It engages the limbic system, comprising the hypothalamus, amygdala, hippocampus, prefrontal cortex, and other regions, which collaborate in memory processing, emotional regulation, and stress response.
This medicine is profoundly sacred, and it's crucial to clarify that it's not a quick-fix solution. It's not about seeking a psychedelic journey or an experience to showcase on social media. Ayahuasca works in layers, in its own time, and it only does about 50% of the work; the rest is up to us. However, once we invite this medicine into our being, it continues to work on us in ways that are beyond explanation. With that said, the real work begins after the ceremonies. Working with a trained specialist such as a somatic therapist, psychedelic therapist, integration coach, or the medicine men/women who have guided you can be invaluable resources during this process. They understand how Ayahuasca works and can effectively hold space as you navigate the integration phase.
As the popularity of this medicine grows, it's crucial to emphasize the significance of those who hold space and serve as caretakers during ceremonies. Your safety greatly relies on their competence and experience. Ayahuasca is not to be taken lightly, and not everyone is qualified to lead these ceremonies. Therefore, it's essential to thoroughly vet and trust the individuals guiding you into this ancient space. Being led by someone lacking proper training can potentially result in harm rather than benefit.
With that being said, I express gratitude to my family of wisdom keepers in South America who have guided me, held space, and continue to do so to this day. I am thankful for your existence, your wisdom, and your unwavering dedication.
If you have any questions regarding retreats or plant medicine ceremonies such as Ayahuasca please contact me and/or check out my family in different areas of South America who facilitate these sacred ceremonies. They are all experienced with 20+ years of working with these medicines and have been passed down the rites and blessings from their elders from various lineages.
If you have sat with sacred plant medicines and are looking to work deeper or explore the messages provided by these medicines and feel lost, contact me or feel free to explore my 1:1 Integration Sessions.
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